


A Smorgasbord of Musical Fusions

by Annie D (scaramouche)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Ficlet, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 05:57:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/304486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scaramouche/pseuds/Annie%20D
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six unrelated Dean & Castiel AU flash ficlets, each one fused with a different musical. In order: Legally Blonde, Guys and Dolls, Sister Act, Les Misérables, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Mary Poppins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Smorgasbord of Musical Fusions

**Legally Blonde: The Musical**

There was a man on the bench. Normally this wouldn't have been cause for interest, but he was wearing a cowboy outfit, complete to the stereotype right down to the spurred boots. Perhaps there had been a party around here recently?

Castiel approached cautiously, and was surprised to find that the cowboy had a name he knew. "Winchester, comma, Dean?"

The face that raised to meet his was in a rictus of humiliation and stress. It wasn't attractive.

"I hate my life," Dean groaned.

Castiel knew he didn't mean that. Dean probably meant that he hated something that had happened in recently in his life. Maybe the cowboy costume (which had a sheriff star on the front vest) had something to do with it. Maybe it had to do with his studies. Maybe it had to do with being far away from home.

Castiel sat down. "Tell me."

* * *

 **Guys and Dolls**

Regardless of what Castiel had accused him of earlier, Dean wasn't completely a cad. He may have partially swindled Castiel's agreement into coming with him to Havana , and he may have encouraged Castiel to loosen up a little in the club a half mile back, but at no point had he wanted to get Castiel drunk.

Certainly not this kind of drunk, Castiel swaying from side to side and then swinging himself around a lamp post in dizzying glee. The grin was nice, though. Dean hadn't thought Castiel capable of smiling at all.

"My happiness may be manufactured, but it is swell," Castiel told him. The gravity of the pronouncement was spoiled when he tripped, arms flailing.

"Whoa there, tiger," Dean laughed, catching him under his arms before he ended up cracking his head on the sidewalk. "I could've sworn I didn't let you have more than two drinks back there."

"Never had alcohol before," Castiel admitted, body almost a deadweight in Dean's arms. He looked up, and for a moment Dean couldn't breathe, because his drunken smile had gone softer, more intimate. "Never ever ever."

"Oh," Dean murmured.

* * *

 **Sister Act: The Musical**

"Seriously?" Dean boggled at him, then at the paper in his hand. "You're shitting me."

Castiel steepled his fingers on the desk in front of him, bracing himself. He didn't have to wait long because Dean was off, cursing to the Heavens and yelling that this was a stupid idea, that Castiel was an incompetent idiot, that he was going to be _shot_ and _killed_ and didn't anyone give a fuck about that?

"Of course I give a fuck about that, Dean," Castiel said, once Dean had wound down. "But can't you see that, considering your regular haunts and predictable activities as known to your former boyfriend, the church would be the perfect hideaway?"

"You don't hide _this_ ," Dean said, gesturing to himself. "Because there's nowhere big enough to contain the sheer awesome of _this_."

Castiel raised his eyebrows. "Bang bang, Dean."

* * *

 **Les Miserables**

"I said don't fucking move!"

Dean was almost sorry that Castiel obeyed. He stood still as Dean approached, which was a feat considering that there was a fully-grown man draped across his back.

This was it. Years of sweat, tears and ripping through people, and he was finally here. _They_ were finally here.

"I know what you are." Dean cocked his gun, but made sure to keep the aim of it true. "Once a monster always a monster."

"I understand," Castiel replied with that same enraging calm. "Would you allow me to send this boy to a hospital first, before--"

"I said shut up!" Dean roared, pressing the muzzle to Castiel's chin. It felt good to see Castiel flinch. That meant that he was human, tangible, and not the ghost he'd been to Dean for all these decades. Dean leaned in, hissing, "Just because you saved my life, you thought I would spare yours?"

"Of course not, Dean." Castiel gave him a small, sad smile. "Once a hunter, always a hunter."

* * *

 **A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum**

"Of all foolish things you've ever done in your life," Castiel said, footsteps drawing up behind Dean's back, "This has to be the worst. The utter worst."

Dean took a moment to make sure he had complete control of his facial muscles, and then turned around.

"Look at me," Castiel snarled. "Just look at me. No one's going to believe I'm a woman."

It was true. No one in their right mind and eyes would believe that Castiel was a young female virgin, and not only because he hadn't even bothered to shave before putting on the toga and flower headdress.

Of course, Dean didn't say that out loud. What he _did_ say (voice not cracking at all) was, "You look lovely, Cas." And he draped an arm around Castiel's shoulders, sighing deeply in the presence of such perfection. "Positively lovely."

Castiel stared at him. "I hate you a great deal right now, Dean."

* * *

 **Mary Poppins**

There were patterns, if one knew where to look. Dean was getting very good with it, and he wasn't even being arrogant, just truthful. He always had an ear to the wind and an eye to the sky, spotting signs that never changed even if the families always did.

This time, Dean got there before _he_ did, and had set up his little stall outside Number 17 before the front doors opened and there he was.

"Button up your coats," Castiel was saying to the pair of children hovering around him suspiciously. "And mind your gloves."

"Hey," Dean said.

Castiel stared. It wasn't often Dean got to throw Castiel off-balance, but he reveled in his victories where he could.

"Dean." Castiel recovered quickly, nodding politely at him. "What a surprise."

"You _know_ him?" one of the munchkins said, eyeing Dean up and down.

"Yes," Castiel murmured, taking a hand of each child in his. "Now we must go to the park for our constitutional."

Dean watched the little troupe march away. They'd reached almost the end of the block before Castiel stopped, turned, and then archly inclined his head. Dean grinned and ran after them.

Magical male nannies were the hottest.


End file.
